The TabItems have a Visibility property which can be set to Collapsed (no space will be reserved for this tab) or Hidden (not rendered, but space will be reserved for this tab).
[XAML]
<TabControl x:Name='tabControl1'>
<TabItem Header='Tab1'></TabItem>
<TabItem Header='Tab2' Visibility='Hidden'></TabItem>
<TabItem Header='Tab3' Visibility='Collapsed'></TabItem>
<TabItem Header='Tab4'></TabItem>
</TabControl>
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